Patience

Rumi said, “The reward for patience, is patience”. The first time I heard that I was pissed. I was in my early 30’s, a single Mom with 2 fulltime jobs and a pre-teen girl. I couldn’t wait for food and shelter to come to me, I had to work for it. In my mind, patience meant I just sit back and wait for something or someone to help me, to save me.

Today I realize my hustle was rooted in fear. Fear beget worry, which beget working harder and longer. I actually don’t think I was wrong to work so hard then. What I wish I could have told myself then was patience also meant to look up once in a while to see what was around me and see the horizon.

Then- I thought patience was waiting for a mountain to become a rock. Today-I know that patience is listening to my quiet voice, getting out of myself by noticing people and my surroundings. It’s also appreciation for who and what I have in my life. It’s waiting 2 seconds when I’m at a red light when it turns green, it’s pausing to reply to make sure I understand what is being said, it’s finding awareness of my body and of my feelings. And it’s creating and enforcing my boundaries.

Rumi was a pretty smart guy.