Resilience

My life has been a study in resilience.

I say a study because there were times that I couldn’t, just couldn’t. Even once where I attempted to end my life. Not a solution to anything, by the way.

I was so close to the end but luckily was discovered in time. While I was floating between being and not being I heard a voice say “You are Loved and You’re not done yet”. Then I woke up. I still hear that voice and those words at the exact right time, every time.

I realized then and there that taking my life was about the most cowardly and selfish thing I could do and vowed that that “solution” was forever off the table. Now what?

Well, I got on with life. I stumbled and fell, got a skinned knee, patched it up. And I got up again and again and again. And – my spiritual connection to the Universe got stronger and stronger.

Was my life easier? Nope. It still isn’t in many ways. That’s the thing, bouncing back doesn’t mean I was showered with riches and everything goes my way. Bouncing back means, Well, that didn’t work, what should I do about it? It means making decisions, learning lessons, forgiving myself and others, self-awareness, gathering self-confidence, kindness, spiritual connection, researching until I understand, keeping boundaries, not comparing my life with anyone else’s. But mostly it means self-love.